The Training of the Ego: Humility

A short, beautiful reading from the Gathas of Inayat Khan:

"Humility is the principal thing that must be learnt in the path of training the ego. It is the constant effort of effacing the ego that prepares man for the greater journey. This principle of humility can be practiced by forgetting one's personality in every thought and action and in every dealing with another. No doubt it is difficult and may not seem very practicable in everyday life, though in the end it will prove to be the successful way, not only in one's spiritual life, but in one's everyday affairs. The general tendency is to bring one's personality forward, which builds a wall between two souls whose destiny and happiness lie in unity. In business, in profession, in all aspects of life it is necessary that one should unite with the other in this unity, in which the purpose of life is fulfilled."

"There are two forms of effacing the self, which in other words may be called giving in. One way is by weakness, the other is by willingness, the former being a defect, the latter a virtue. One comes by lack of will, the other by charity of the heart. Therefore in training the ego, one must take care that one is not developing a weakness, presuming it to be a virtue. The best way of dealing with the question is to let life take its natural course, and at the same time, to allow the conscience to keep before it the highest idea. On one side life taking its natural course, on the other side the conscience holding its highest ideal, balancing it, will make the journey easy. The words of Christ, which teach man to walk with another two miles if the other wanted him to walk one, prove the great importance of harmony in life. And his words, 'Resist not evil', show still more the importance of harmony in life, namely, that if you can avoid evil, in other words keep it away, that is better than to want to fight it. And the idea of Christ's teaching of giving in is also expressive of harmonizing with the wishes of another person. No doubt in this, discrimination is necessary. That harmony is advisable which develops into harmony and culminates in greater harmony, not that which may seem in the beginning to be harmony and would result in greater inharmony. In training the ego, balance must be taken as the most important principle"

Khan recommends we practice humility in our everyday lives by stepping out of the limelight and by letting others go forward. This may seem like anathema in today's society, but there is an underlying principle here. We are not being told not to achieve or to be excellent in our undertakings, whatever that arena may be. Rather, we gain much more in life by fostering a sense of cooperation over that of competition. We build bridges by unifying with others and honoring their gifts and contributions. Yet, we can still do our best by competing with ourselves to always hold forth our highest ideals, whatever the situation may be. As always, Khan advises discrimination in our desires to harmonize with others by seeking balance in all things.

Training Is As Well a Science as an Art

Another reading from the Gathas of Hazrat Inayat Khan:

"It is a science and an art to understand the nature of the human ego and to train it. Once can understand the nature of the human ego by a study of human nature; but one can learn the way of training it by training one's own ego. Man can train his ego by being patient with all around him that has a jarring effect upon him. For every jar upon the soul irritates the ego. When man expresses his irritation, he develops a disagreeable nature; when he controls it and does not express it, then he becomes crushed inwardly. The idea is to rise above all such irritations."

This is a wonderful application of the science aspect to training the ego. If we use our people-watching abilities and then apply that to ourselves, then we can begin to train our own ego. There are so many things in life that can prove to be irritating: from traffic to family issues or colleagues, to paying one's bills. Almost always, these sources of irritation are the sticking points of our own egos; so, take the more painful medication and crush the false ego. Lashing out in own form or another proves nothing, but being able to flow with life's problems develops beauty in one's character.

"Life has a jarring effect by its very nature which every sensitive soul can feel. If a person wishes to keep away all jarring influences, he had better not try to live, for life is a constant jarring. Life is motion, and it is in the nature of motion to strike against something. It does not require strength to stand against the jarring influences of life - there is no wall of stone or of iron that can always stand against the waves of the ocean - but a small piece of wood, little and light, can always rise and  fall with the waves, yet always above them, uninjured and safe. The lighter and littler man's ego becomes, the more power of endurance he has. It is two strong egos that strike against one another. The little ego, the light ego, just slips over when a powerful wave of a strong ego comes for it to knock over itself against a stronger wall that may throw it over."

This is a beautiful reminder that our path is being in the world. We don't wish to escape onto the mountaintop (although the occasional retreat may be rejuvenating), we want to embrace life as fully as possible. This means we will be bounced around, knocked about and thrown off our usual course at times. So, by bowing to what may come to us, as unpleasant or as painful as it might be, we become like the willow tree when the winds of life blow. This brings forth our true ego - we become malleable to what life presents.

"The art of dealing with egos of different grades of evolution is to learn gentleness, tolerance, and forgiveness, which all come from charity of heart. When man stands on the same plane as the other, then he is subject to the influence of the other ego. But if he rises above it, then every effort of the other ego falls flat. There is a poem in Hindustani, the verse of Ghalib: 'The world seems to me a playground of children. How constantly busy the infants seem with their toys!' Verily, the secret of peace is hidden under the cover of the ego."

How wonderful is this artfulness of life - if we just keep persisting with the work with our egos, we create peacefulness! The ingredients for success are learning and practicing tolerance, gentleness and forgiveness: living from the heart.

Another Ramification of the Economic Crisis

As most people are reeling from the effects of the global economic crisis, I was delighted to read this article, which, for many of us, is a wonderful reminder of how much we have to be grateful for, despite the outer appearance. Here is the link:

http://www.marketwatch.com/news/story/real-tragedy-financial-crisis-people/story.aspx?guid=%7BA02D915A%2DE3DB%2D4E24%2DAAC7%DE5F8EA18DA75%7D

Little Flute

Little Flute

Thou hast made me endless, such is thy pleasure. This frail

vessel thou emptiest again and again, and fillest it ever with fresh life.

This little flute of a reed thou hast carried over hills and dales,

and hast breathed through it melodies eternally new.

At the immortal touch of thy hands my little heart loses its limits in

joy and gives birth to utterance ineffable.

Thy infinite gifts come to me only on these very small hands of mine.

Ages pass, and still thou pourest, and still there is room to fill.

Rabindranath Tagore - (1861-1941)

Training by Abstinence

From the second set of the Saluk Gathas of Inayat Khan:

"There is no better way of training the ego than denying it what it wants for satisfaction of its vanity. It is painful sometimes, and it often seems hard, to deny the ego all it demands, but it always results in great satisfaction. Spirituality may be called a capacity; plainly explained, it may be called a depth. In some people naturally there is this capacity, this depth; and in some it may be made. In order to collect the rainwater people dig the ground and make a capacity for the water to collect. So in order to receive the spiritual life and light, one must open oneself a capacity. The egoistic has no capacity, for it is his ego which makes the heart, so to speak, solid, giving no accommodation to the essence of God. The more one denies the demands of the ego, which satisfy its vanity, the more capacity one makes to be filled by the life of God."

This portion of the reading reminds me very much of the Christian Lenten practice of self-denial while in preparation for Easter. By giving up something we enjoy, or, perhaps, something that might be best eliminated entirely, the opening for greater spiritual capacity may be created, thereby, we may then "open our hearts, that we may hear thy voice, which constantly comes from within." This is also reflected in this period of the Christian calendar as one would crucify, along with Christ, elements that may be in one's way for deeper communion with the Divine. Afterwards, there is a resurrection of the soul, hopefully, clearer and revivified after these weeks of inner reflection.

"When the will is able to rule one's life, and not one's bodily appetites and mental fancies, then there is the reign of the Golden Age, as the Hindus say; there is no injustice and there is no reward. When man finds disturbance in his life, a lack of harmony in the external life, he must take refuge under the reign within, which is the kingdom of God. To a Sufi, this body is the Temple of God and the heart His shrine; and as long as man keeps God away from His temple, from His shrine, his limited ego reigns, and that reign is called Iron Age by the Hindus. A person who has not opened his heart to God to abide in may yet be a good person, but as his life will be involved in the activities of the world, his ego will turn from bad to worse, culminating into the worst state of mind, and it is that condition of mind which is personified in the religious term 'Satan'.

"In order to learn to realize, 'I am not, but God is', one must first deny oneself for his fellow men. Respecting another, enduring a person or an action which is uncongenial to oneself, tolerating all, overlooking the faults of others, covering the weaknesses that one finds in one's fellow men, willingness to forgive, all these things are the  first lessons in self-denial."

The final paragraphs are a reminder of the choices we can make in life. Do we want to live in the Golden Age by heeding the call of the Divine on a daily basis (which helps create harmony in our lives and others), or do we prefer the Iron Age, our lives being run by the little self and its demands?

Here are ways we can started on our personal alchemy: respect others, endure people or situations that are trying, be tolerant, overlook others' faults, cover the weaknesses of others and practice forgiveness.

 

Three Stages Through Which the Ego Develops

This is the last Gatha reading in the series on the Training of the Ego of Inayat Khan.

"There are three different stages through which the ego develops and reaches the ideal state. The first stage is called Ammara by Sufis, and in this the ego is satisfied by the satisfaction of the passions and the appetites."

This first aspect concerns the nafs ammara, which, in this interpretation of the Arabic word nafs would refer to the petty self, the false ego, is indicating addiction to the carnal and sensual self, which we all have (nafs can also mean the soul or breath of life: the relation to the first meaning is a good linguistic example of the covering of the physical ego over the spiritual one) . Food, sex, substance abuse or many other items could come under this category. Idries Shah would call this the commanding self, i.e., the domineering false self which runs our lives.

"From this animal stage the ego may rise to a higher stage, which is man's ego, and that stage is the gratification of vanity. This ego is termed by the Sufi Lawwama, and this stage in the beginning causes a person to act in every way that is likely to cause harm and to be hurtful and unjust to others. This continues until he learns to understand the true nature of vanity, since all good as well as all evil is born of vanity. When vanity ceases to cause man to do evil, he has reached the human stage, Mutmainna."

This next stage of development is divided into two parts. The nafs lawwama is when one is in the state of constantly blaming others or accusing himself. Over time, as one takes more responsibility for one's actions and practices forgiveness, the nafs is purified and moves into the state of nafs mutmainna, the tranquil aspect of the nafs, when one has moved beyond the lower states of ammara and lawamma and is peaceful. 

"But when vanity causes man to do good the ego becomes humane, using this word in the oriental sense, in which it means more than human, as it is derived from the words, Hu, divine, and Manas, mind.

The first lesson that the ego must learn in order to develop into the humane state is that of pride in the form of self-respect. As man has the inclination to have good clothes and good ornaments in order to appear in the eyes of others as what he considers beautiful, so he must feel the same inclination towards the building of personality by the ornamentation of every action and manner in the way that he considers good and beautiful."

Finally, when one reaches the humane state, the art of personality is at a pinnacle, its most beautiful state. Khan here is hinting at akhlaq-I Allah, or, the manner of God, in which all parts of the human being are harmonized and beautiful. Attaining this truly is an art, and, as any artist knows, must be practiced daily, with great love and patience in order for this inner beauty to manifest and flower, extending itself to all creation.

The Sun Never Says

Even

After

All this time

The sun never says to the earth,

"You owe

Me."

Look

What happens

With a love like that,

It lights the

Whole

Sky.

Hafiz (c.1320-1389)

Trans. Daniel Ladinsky